I am removing the hideous wallpaper in our kitchen, one of those projects that I started a while ago and has been on my list to finish up for about 5 years. The good news is that I feel no remorse. I refuse to believe that the apples & baskets motif was ever “in” and shredding it with the scoring tool gives me immense pleasure.
After hours of peeling and spraying and steaming I am cursing the people who put up the wallpaper. Why did they have to use so much glue? Did they honestly think someone would try to break in and steal it? I started out in the denial phase, blew through bargaining and quickly moved on to anger.
I went off on whoever invented wall paper in the first place. I wished ill upon the designers and all employees of the wallpaper industry for buying in to the sick dream of covering up perfectly decent walls with this crap. I envisioned going postal on a wallpaper display—bits of faux blue gingham and leaf patterns fluttering up in a cloud as I blasted away (by the way, I don’t even own a gun or know where to get one, so this falls in the ‘beyond hypothetical’ category).
I even cursed that friend of the owners who KNEW this print was hideous, but told them it was cute. She thought she was being such a good friend, but she’s a wimp and a quitter, if she were a real friend she whould have told them it was a really bad idea and that they should just paint with a nice semi-gloss like normal people.